The course was scheduled for 9 hours on Saturday and Sunday and then I had 3 hours of driving on top of that both days.  I’m so thankful that I was able to go though. It was an incredible group of women and we shared both laughter and tears.

Apparently, William asked for me throughout the weekend and both he and Joel started up a chant at one point, “Mama, Mama, Mama!” :) Oh, how sweet it was to come home and be surrounded by all their beautiful smiles. Kevin and I kept the little boys up a bit late on Saturday and we just snuggled and played on the floor together.

On Sunday, Kevin texted me a picture of William and Joel that he had taken that day. “The day in their lives that you missed!” my friend quipped, and I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes. “Two days!” I said with a pang. I longed to be home, but I also wanted to take the opportunity to visit some friends I don’t often get to see. I left their house at 8:00 pm and still had an hour drive before I got home. I tried not to drive too fast, but I was worried that the children would all be in bed.

I ran up to the house and joy flooded through me when I saw Joel quietly playing while Kevin played guitar. My baby… my sweet baby. “Joel,” I called to him softly. He turned and gave me a gentle smile. I gathered him into my arms and he just melted, his little body snuggling into my embrace. I danced around the room with him. He rarely cuddles now. There’s just so much to see and do! But that night he just wanted to be close. After a while I sat on the couch with him and he would jump into my arms and wriggle his little head into the nape of my neck and then jump up, laugh, and do it all over again.

Yes, absence does seem to make the heart grow fonder, or at least it makes us realize how precious our loved ones are. But, like taking too long of a break from exercise, I think that absence also weakens our stamina! I have found myself thinking, “Wow, six kids is a lot of kids!” But when I’m away… I know that there’s nowhere that I’d rather be than right here at home… surrounded by those that I love.

The day that I missed

P.S. – if the video is low quality you can adjust it by clicking on the sprocket thingy.

We watched The Grace Card. It came across as somewhat low budget, but the acting was great and the story powerful. I won’t ruin the movie for you, but God took the repentance and forgiveness theme and brought it home to my heart.

“What’s wrong?” my husband asked as my tears made a damp spot on his jeans. “I just want to be a good mom,” I managed to sputter.

Really, I had no idea that being a mom would be this hard. I thought that “all we needed was love.” And now, 13 years into motherhood, I realize that I will never be “good enough.” I will make mistakes. I will fall short. I will hurt my children. And that… is why I was crying.

Wednesday I was exhausted and irritable. Thursday and today I was still feeling rundown and got caught up with homeschool and weight loss. In short, I’ve been a grumpy and distracted mom and my relationship with my children has suffered.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” ~ 1 John 1:9

Is there anything as lovely as grace and forgiveness? Oh how sweet this is to me! I prayed, “Lord, please forgive me for hurting your little ones,” and He did, He does. Tomorrow, I will ask my precious children to forgive me. That’s the reset button… repentance.

Doesn’t it just give rest to your soul knowing that our sovereign and loving God, both opens, and closes the doors in our lives. His timing is perfect. His ways are perfect.

I’ll end with a few pictures from the day.

Joel helping Myra open presents.

The cake that Myra made and iced.

I’m curious about how this day will turn out and decided to write this journal style. I’m inwardly laughing and I know that I shouldn’t be!

It is Myra’s 13th birthday today. (Wow, thirteen years ago I became a mom!) One of my 8 year old sons tends to go wild when the routine changes and he doesn’t handle excitement very well. I noticed that he was starting to get really hyper over all the birthday excitement. “I’ve got to get things under control.” I said to myself.

Too late…

My son got in an argument with a sibling and stomped off to his room. I pushed against the door and found it wouldn’t budge. “Please move away from the door,” I said and then gave the door a harder shove.

“I’m not against the door,” was the reply. That’s when I noticed that solitary seeking son had wedged screw drivers under the door, and that I, had gotten them stuck tight by pushing against the door.

I’ll admit. I really haven’t tried very hard to open the door. There was room under the door to pass some school work and pencils and I will be able to give him some food, (crackers anyway.) Things are wonderfully calm and peaceful and I think that it is a fitting consequence for the aforementioned outburst.

I find it absolutely hilarious and I’ve had a terrible time trying to keep a straight face around the children. I am reminded about being locked in a bathroom with a friend when I was about his age (maybe a little older.) We were there for hours and hours and my friend’s brother threw us cherries through the window, (that was unfortunately too small to get out of.) Finally we were rescued when a family friend broke down the door. It’s a good memory. Maybe that’s why I’m laughing inside. He’s making memories!

I also know that my husband will not see the humor in it, especially if he has to break down the door…

Oh my… I’m sure I’ll never grow up!

To be continued…

The Cookie Thief
by Valerie Cox

A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shop,
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.

She was engrossed in her book but happened to see,
That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be.
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between,
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.

So she munched the cookies and watched the clock,
As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I would blacken his eye.”

With each cookie she took, he took one too,
When only one was left, she wondered what he would do.
With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.

He offered her half, as he ate the other,
She snatched it from him and thought… oooh, brother.
This guy has some nerve and he’s also rude,
Why he didn’t even show any gratitude!

She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.

She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat,
Then she sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise,
There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.

If mine are here, she moaned in despair,
The others were his, and he tried to share.
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Isn’t it all to easy to suspect the worst in people? I’m asking God to grow me in the areas of compassion, empathy and love.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:3-4

Blessings!

~Rachel

It feels like time has been playing tricks on me. It just doesn’t seem logical the way the days fly past like so many leaves in an autumn wind.

I remember when I only had two little ones and the days were so long. I loved playing with my babies and being a mom, but, I always found myself looking ahead. “It will be easier when she is six months old, a year, three years…” I would think to myself. And in many ways it was, but now that my little girl is almost thirteen, I realize that those years are all to short and I can never have them back.

God has a beautiful lesson for us to learn in this season of busyness, that of dying to oneself. I am tempted to chafe at times when the children are sick and I am up out of bed umpteen times in the night, but then I remember that it is just a season and I can redeem those sleepless nights with prayer.

Sometimes it’s hard to see past the trials and hardship of fulltime motherhood, but there is so very much more if we choose to look for the moments of joy. There is nothing like the thrill I get when I slip into Joel’s room to get him after his nap. Sometimes he’s lying down playing with his fingers or sitting looking expectantly for me, and then our eyes meet and his whole face lights up with delight. {dreamy sigh}

Life with little ones is filled with the unexpected. Three year olds are so wonderfully witty and curious. Giggles abound. A simple walk outside is filled with wonder: a bug, a rock, a cloud.

I don’t say to myself anymore, It will be easier when…

Now I pray, Oh Lord, help me to make the most of this time.

P.S. I took most of these pictures on Tuesday. Yes, we still have that much snow!

My last post on snow days got me thinking about a snow day that I had while growing up. Snow was a fairly rare event on Cortes Island. We got snow a few times over the winter, but it was almost always gone by noon. Once though, when I was about 10, we got a huge dump of snow and the school buses were unable to run. Yay! A day off school. Everyone was notified that there would be no school that day… everyone on the bus list that is. I lived only minutes from the school and walked to school. I never got the call.

I trudged through the deep drifts and found the school grounds strangely empty and quiet. Sure enough, the doors were locked. A friend that also walked to school arrived at the same time as me. It was wonderfully exhilarating to find the school locked and everything looking so different. We imagined that everyone had mysteriously disappeared and that we were the only people left on earth.

We decided to get busy and make a snow house to protect us from the elements. We made snow balls and rolled them until they were massive, suitable for the best snow house ever! We worked away busily and were surprised when the recess bell rang. We had never had a morning fly by so quickly. We got out our lunch bags and enjoyed a snack before getting busy again. And when the lunch bell rang, we sat back and ravenously ate. Rolling giant snow balls is hard work.

It wasn’t much later that Mom somehow found out that there was no school that day. I can only imagine that she was quite worried. There were questions… like, “Why on earth didn’t you come home and tell me there was no school?” To which I could only shrug an answer… I never thought of going home… I thought we were the only people left on earth.

For the record, my Mother is one of those extremely patient people that if you didn’t know her, you really wouldn’t be able to tell if she was angry, but I knew… she was ticked.

So now that I’m a mom, I look back and see all those childhood antics through my mother’s eyes. I feel downright sorry about all the things I put her through! And sometimes I just have to laugh and shake my head at some of the crazy things that my children think up… yes, I remember!

It is a day that I am thankful for our toasty wood fire. I’m sorry, but electric heat just doesn’t come close to standing around a cozy stove with a “cuppa” hot cocoa. Today reminds me of a sweet story called “The Snowy Day”. Have you read it?

A little boy wakes up to find the world covered with snow. He is filled with joy as he spends his entire day playing in the white drifts. When he finally comes in, he brings a snow ball wedged in his pocket…to save for later. It is one of those sweet stories that capture the wide eyed wonder of childhood.

Plans for this afternoon: go sledding with the children, catch snowflakes (and examine with a magnifying glass), have fun.

<

The following day the children had it attached behind their bikes and took turns pulling it. Later on, I overheard plans to jump out of the fort with it! “That tarp will not have time to fill with air before you hit the ground! Don’t do it!” I admonished them.

“Yeah, I guess it wouldn’t work,” they agreed nodding.

“And it won’t work out of a tree either!” I added, remembering what I had been like as a child. It’s pretty important to stay one step ahead of these guys! I did actually jump out of my fort with an umbrella as a child, (I was under the influence of Mary Poppins. Believe me, movies do affect us!) 

Here’s a little video of my children trying to fly.