I’ve been meaning to write this post for a long time. It’s kind of muddled in my head, though, and it was hard to make myself sit down and write. (There’s a book calling me right now! ) I enjoy writing on the light side, and making fun of myself is a hoot, but getting personal is harder, hence the procrastinating.
So here is the thought bouncing around my head—what if, in my blogging, I’ve created a perfect family that doesn’t really exist? Perfection is a dangerous ideal. At times, I’ve sought to be the perfect wife and mom and fallen woefully short. It only leads to depression and despair because it’s unattainable, but also because it takes our eyes off of Christ when we focus on ourselves.
My vision for my blog is to encourage other moms on their journey. I wanted my writing to be uplifting—there is so much out there that is tearing down motherhood. I wanted to be different, but I realize that there is danger in only including the smiles. I’ve always tried to be open and real about my own struggles: my chaotic housekeeping methods, my phobias, my dark past, my anger, but it just doesn’t seem right to share publicly the struggles that my children and husband face, so I’ve kept silent about a lot of the trials that we go through.
That’s one of the reasons why I’ve done so little blogging lately. I want to be real, but I don’t want to hurt my family by sharing what isn’t mine to share. After praying about this, I feel like I should keep writing, but that I also need to be open and honest and let you know that we face the same problems you do. Sometimes I lose my temper and yell at my kids, and sometimes, I lose my focus and forget that being a mom and wife is the work given to me by God. Sometimes my children talk back and they fight far too often. This is hard work, unbelievably hard, but it’s wonderful work too and eternally significant.
When it seems like you can’t possibly carry on, look to Jesus. Let Him carry you. Trust that He will.